senti....friday...

whenever Friday comes, i have this certain thrill within. probably because, when it comes, it means that week-end is coming and you can unwind.

but one thing which makes me excited during Fridays it's because of the FRIDAY MADNESS of Killer Bee... i'm happy whenever i hear them play 90's music...

i get sentimental...

it's the 90's songs remind me of the days when i was much younger...full of dreams..very much driven... i was looking forward for the days ahead.. full of enthusiasm to get what i want in life. those were the days when i hardly notice times slip so fast.. because i was enjoying what i was doing... i was very focused and had this strong goal. it's nice if you're doing what you want and at the same time earn from it.

unlike now, things are really complicated.

i really don't know why it's happening... it's like never ending struggle...gone to waste!

you know the feeling of you really want to do something for you to grow, learn different things which interest you and stir your brain... give you insights, wisdom, and at the same time be a better person and reach for your dreams?

but the more you're trying to move, you realize that some things are dragging you down. it was then you realize that you're lost.

things are ugly…had i known that it would be like this, i would be somewhere.


seriously, i'm in a very slow pacing circumstances.
and honestly, may panghihinayang ako sa sarili ko at this moment...

i could've been better in some things...develop & use my potentials...in some places best for me...


::: today is friday, and i really feel so senti this day...while having the 90's music on the background, reminiscing the past...when things were still great.... i can't help it but cry.  i can't be angry anymore...for the pain is too real that it makes me so  NUMB.
i wish that i'll just cry so hard... turned NUMB, and the numbness will make me INVINCIBLE. all things that's happening at the moment are "bi-polar"... which means i'm either in extreme happiness...or extreme sadness.

yes, i can take the extreme pain at the moment, for i know that the coming days would be different..

yes, i will cry hard now... until my tear ducts ran dry...even up to a point when i get dehydrated from the gallons of tears that i shed.

and soon after that, it would be sun shiny bright... extreme glory.

amen to that.