Inside-Out

Inside-Out
(Eve 6)

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then Im through with you

I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time had gotten stale
The tick tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall
I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale

So cal is where my mind states
but its not my state of mind
Im not as ugly sad as you
Or am I origami
Folded up and just pretend
demented as the motives in your head

Rendezvous then Im through with you.

coffee & my insanity

coffee in the morning used to give me this certain
"kick" to start-up my day.
i want it to be really black and strong for me to  be awake the whole day, and do all the things that  keeps me happy and alive.

but i stopped drinking coffee for almost a year now.
i can't drink coffee.
not anymore.
it keeps me awake all night.
and i'd end-up being depressed.
that's why, i need to be really busy, and consume all my time for whatever.
so that at the end of the day i'd be tired and can go to sleep.

no time to think for that... ghastly incident.
it still pains me.

".......if only sanity could be awakened by a shot 
of ESPRESSO "

but then, i can’t drink coffee.
not anymore.
perhaps not now.

'coz im getting INSANE.