coffee & my insanity

coffee in the morning used to give me this certain
"kick" to start-up my day.
i want it to be really black and strong for me to  be awake the whole day, and do all the things that  keeps me happy and alive.

but i stopped drinking coffee for almost a year now.
i can't drink coffee.
not anymore.
it keeps me awake all night.
and i'd end-up being depressed.
that's why, i need to be really busy, and consume all my time for whatever.
so that at the end of the day i'd be tired and can go to sleep.

no time to think for that... ghastly incident.
it still pains me.

".......if only sanity could be awakened by a shot 
of ESPRESSO "

but then, i can’t drink coffee.
not anymore.
perhaps not now.

'coz im getting INSANE.