shoe, love, & hurt

You want to fall in love with a shoe,
go ahead.

A shoe can't love you back,

but, on the other hand,
a shoe can't HURT you too deeply either.

And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

(***read:  i'm a cynic.)

After A While...

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much

so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka

after work @ 6:00pm,  i was craving for a cheese burger.
so, he picked me-up with his scooter, and about to head down town.
in just a few minutes ride, it started to rain.....so hard.

we were on a scooter, we didn't have a raincoat.
it's raining hard... really, really hard.
traffic caught us..........  we were soaking wet!

                    Kasabay ng ulan bumubuhos ang iyong ganda
                    Kasabay ng hanging kumakanta
                    Maaari bang huwag ka nang
                    Sa piling ko'y lumisan pa
                    Hanggang ang hangi't ulan ay tumila na

heavy rain drops falling on my face... and hurt my eyes a bit.
i was on the back and hugged his chubby belly tight! (hahaha!)
still on the road, with cold wind blowing...i was shivering...
yet, having fun! i can't help but keep on laughing.
we keep on laughing hard... as hard as the rain.

                    Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka
                    Huwag nang tumigil pa
                    Hatid mo ma'y bagyo
                    Dalangin ito ng puso kong sumasamo
                    Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw
                    Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa

we headed to my home.
rain water from our wet clothes were dripping on the floor.
my father lend him his shirt and pants.  (he's wearing my dad's clothes? haha!)

and in the sala, while raining so hard outside,
nothing compares being with "my everything"
........with hot   C O F F E E   and   PANCIT CANTON.      ;p

it was the happiest rainy friday night of my life.

                Tuwing umuulan..... at kapiling ka.      (,")(",)*

Laughter in the Rain

LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN

Strolling along country roads with my baby.
It starts to rain, it begins to pour.
Without an umbrella we're soaked to the skin.
I feel a shiver run up my spine.
I feel the warmth of his hand in mine.

Oohh… I hear laughter in the rain,
walking hand in hand with the one I love.
Oohh… how I love the rainy days
and the happy way I feel inside.

After a while we run under a tree.
I turn to him and he kisses me.
There with the beat of the rain on the leaves
softly he breathes and I close my eyes.
Sharing our love under stormy skies.

Oohh… I hear laughter in the rain,
walking hand in hand with the one I love.
Oohh… how I love the rainy days
and the happy way I feel inside.

Masters in Picking-Up Broken Pieces

last year, i decided to go back to school to have a master's degree.
not only that i wanted to have a broader knowledge on other fields, but to refresh my mind as well.
though i'm a graduate of BS in Electronics and Communications Engineering, i've chosen to take up Masters in Business Administration (MBA)... so far out!
i'm like a "kindergarten" on this master's degree!
and like a child, I am amazed by my professors and my brilliant classmates! - who all have bright thoughts and opinions! *clap* *clap*
it seems like i'm just an "absorber" of the refreshing infos and knowledge that they share? (but, i'm enjoying it! =)

actually, the main reason why i enrolled is to keep my self busy...really, really busy.
I NEED TO BE REALLY BUSY AND DIVERT MY ATTENTION TO SOMETHING WORTHY.
'coz if not, i would end up getting INSANE!!!! sad but true.
last year was my "bottom down" year.
it was my greatest down fall.
---> i actually won last year’s “STUPID AWARD"!
it was a bad bad year.
tragic love.

but, things are getting better now... thankfully.
no need to be really busy to whatever.
i just want to focus on to something more personal. That's why I'm thinking not to pursue MBA anymore...perhaps not this time. i dunno... i'm still confused.

i'm also thinking of quitting my job. (?)
...and just bum around.
i've been awakened from my stupidity
i'm back with my old self.
"HE" is recovering (& gaining back health).
i need to slow things down a bit.
and rekindle those days.
LIFE'S TOO SHORT!
never to do the same mistake again.

• i miss the night walks after our  college class.
  i miss those coffee moments.
  5 years is 5 years is 5 years.
  .......ah those were the days.

perhaps, i'll be pursuing (MPBP)- MASTERS IN PICKING-UP BROKEN PIECES.

i love my new "baby"

i have been waiting this for so long.
and now she's finally here
....my new "baby".

she's beautiful.
unique.
like no other.
she's high maintenance,

because of her,  my lifetime savings are all gone!!!!
...as in "z-e-r-o"!  

i don't have a "real" baby yet, but para narin akong na-caesarian because of this. (huhuhu...)

but worth it.
so far, this is the most expensive thing that i've ever bought!!!
straight from my very own savings.

i'll  be turning a quarter of century old this  June 4!
(i'm old.... tsk,tsk...)

...and this is my birthday gift for myself.
(for being a good girl????!) nyahahahaha!!!!
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! =)

i'm happy.
i deserve this.

time for a COOL CHANGE.

i love my new mitsu.

"untog" moments

i am happier these past few months.
na-untog narin ako... finally!!!!   hahahaha!!!

well, i knew from the start that it would be a
"down fall"... bad decision.
i was in a terrible nightmare!!!

surrounded by nonsense and all. i sat with the "beast".

blood & tears have been shed.

a lot of people have been hurt.
what a big pile of sh*t it has made.

.........it's been more than a year now.    TRAGIC LOVE (of 5 years). i'm starting to pick-up the pieces.

God is really good...for HE stand-by with "him " ---> (who has suffered a lot) is recovering and getting better now.

i'm still thankful. things are brighter now... everybody's living and moving on.

i know it won't be that easy... but i can do it.
WELCOME  BACK  MY  OLD  SELF........ i've been missing "-M-E-".

adam vs. kris

dili ko palabot nganong si Kris Allen ang nada-og!!!

ADAM LAMBERT's far better than him.

this is the only idol season that i've followed through out.

hayyyy....      so,so....

dili jud ko palabot.

where have all the ROCKERS gone??????! hehehe....

DEMONS are REAL

it's been a year
since a DEMON almost killed
"him."

I. C. U.
bleeding,
literaly.

my cries are worthless,
can do nothing.

and where was i ???
i sat beside the demon,
and was possessed!

perhaps i should be punished
for my stupidity!

and now, it has been clear.
a demon in rage
knows nothing about
REGRET nor CONSCIENCE.

he is self-righteous and dangerous!

leaving its deadly mark.

stab     suffer     sirens     scalpel
spleen    scream    stitches
S-C-A-R-S

BEWARE!!!
you could be the demon's next prey.

on loving BONO and U2

when i saw the ad on music channel that they're going to play music video of U2  24hours this day, i thought about spending the whole day watching television and ditch my masteral class. ahahaha..

but it's finals already, and i have a lot of things to catch up at school. after class, i hurried down to go home and had U2 tv marathon...

i like BONO... he gives this certain "ELEVATION" wooohooooo.....!!!

STUCK IN THE MOMENT

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
Tears are going nowhere baby


And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

WINDOW IN THE SKIES

The shackles are undone,        The bullets quit the gun
The heat that's in the sun,       Will keep us when there's none
The rule has been disproved,   The stone it has been moved
The grave is now a groove,      All debts are removed, ooh

Oh can't you see what love has done ?
What it's doing to me ?

Love makes strange enemies
Makes love where love may please
Soul and its striptease
Hate brought to its knees
The sky over our head
We can reach it from our bed
You let me in your heart
And out of my head, head...

Oh can't you see what love has done ?
For every heart that cries
Love left a window in the skies
And to love I rhapsodize

Oh can't you see what love has done ?
What it's doing to me ?

............. i can relate.
i was STUCK IN A MOMENT... and now i have gotten-out already.   thank God.
i'm out of it..... no more SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY.
it had given me enough VERTIGO  already! ......WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.
but i realized, SOMETIMES...I CAN'T MAKE IT ON MY OWN.
time heals.
and i still belive in ONE LOVE....
and when it comes..... it would be THE SWEETEST THING..... in time.

.........CHEERS TO BONO and the whole U2!!!

v-day chaperone

last feb.14, i had a date.
not just one but two dates.
yup. you read it right... T-W-O.
well...you can't blame me. i can't choose between them. that's why i had them both!

i had a date with my MOM and DAD!  (hehehe)
well, you can consider me as their date slash "chaperone".

while my sister had her own whereabouts,
i intend to be a chaperone for my parents. hayzz...
we just had dinner.
my mind is floating... and i had nothing to do, but observe other lovers that surround me...
with all the flowers, baloons, and chocolates.
i find those people cheesy. (ek!)
you really feel different when you're just the "observant"
and not the "participant" (?)     hehehe...

i had great time together with my parents.
this time, i've celebrated heart's day meaningfully.
valentine's day is a celebration of love for couples/ friends/ family.
and for me, loving means being there for each other no matter what.
like my mom & dad, i'm just so thankful for thier unique kind of love
that they have for each other.

as for me, being a chaperone ain't that bad after all.
**sigh**

happy v-day to all!    *(^,^)*

Inside-Out

Inside-Out
(Eve 6)

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then Im through with you

I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time had gotten stale
The tick tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall
I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale

So cal is where my mind states
but its not my state of mind
Im not as ugly sad as you
Or am I origami
Folded up and just pretend
demented as the motives in your head

Rendezvous then Im through with you.

coffee & my insanity

coffee in the morning used to give me this certain
"kick" to start-up my day.
i want it to be really black and strong for me to  be awake the whole day, and do all the things that  keeps me happy and alive.

but i stopped drinking coffee for almost a year now.
i can't drink coffee.
not anymore.
it keeps me awake all night.
and i'd end-up being depressed.
that's why, i need to be really busy, and consume all my time for whatever.
so that at the end of the day i'd be tired and can go to sleep.

no time to think for that... ghastly incident.
it still pains me.

".......if only sanity could be awakened by a shot 
of ESPRESSO "

but then, i can’t drink coffee.
not anymore.
perhaps not now.

'coz im getting INSANE.